The Greatest Band Ever...

Greg has been a little silent as of late... Oh well, we march on.
Note, this conversation has been slightly edited to make me sound funnier.  It's my blog... I can do what I want.

(10:11:51 AM) David Klotz: if you were getting married again, would you hire my band to play at your reception? We are called LANDFILL, and we do not take requests
(10:12:05 AM) Aaron Wagner: sure
(10:12:14 AM) Aaron Wagner: was that believable enough?
(10:12:24 AM) David Klotz: no
(10:12:49 AM) David Klotz: see i expected some resistance which i would counter with valid points
(10:15:16 AM) Aaron Wagner: ok... lets give this a shot
(10:15:32 AM) Aaron Wagner: HELL NO, I WOULD NEVER HIRE YOUR SHITTY BAND
(10:17:06 AM) David Klotz: well, while i understand your initial response, let me point out that IF you hire my band, not only will we thrill and entertain, we will no doubt make the rest of the wedding and reception seem all that much better.
(10:17:50 AM) Aaron Wagner: I dont know... how many Bass players do you have?
(10:18:07 AM) David Klotz: we have one really large bass player, so he's almost as good as two.
(10:18:34 AM) Aaron Wagner: does he sweat a lot?
(10:18:41 AM) David Klotz: keep in mind that we play all original music, and we may pepper in some love songs or cover songs, however, we do not take requests
(10:18:48 AM) David Klotz: he sweats the "right" amount
(10:19:40 AM) Aaron Wagner: I think I need a lot of sweat... what about your drummer... how many crash cymbals does he have and how often does he use them, on average, in any given song?
(10:20:02 AM) David Klotz: oh, he only plays the crash cymbals
(10:20:09 AM) David Klotz: the drums are for show only
(10:20:22 AM) Aaron Wagner: so no snare, no bass drum...
(10:20:28 AM) David Klotz: not one time
(10:21:47 AM) Aaron Wagner: perfect.... now, the really important question... You're lead singer needs to be dressed in Lady-Gaa-Gaa-esquie atire... that's VERY important... he/she needs to make at least 5 costume changes over the course of the evening
(10:22:05 AM) David Klotz: like i said, we do not take requests
(10:22:08 AM) David Klotz: none
(10:22:49 AM) Aaron Wagner: ohh... so close... Looks like we're going to go with "Sanitary Refuse Disposal Area" to play instead
(10:23:22 AM) David Klotz: what i can guarantee is that your guests will walk away from your wedding with a story to tell all their friends and family, you get a story to go in your scrapbook, and we get a fat check to spend on hookers and blow
(10:24:00 AM) Aaron Wagner: You've sold me... now, how "fat" of a check are we talking about?
(10:24:19 AM) Aaron Wagner: because I can only afford about $20 for a band of your talent
(10:24:53 AM) David Klotz: but we are the most talented band of our kind
(10:25:22 AM) David Klotz: our usual cut is $300 and a dinner, but in your case, because i like you, I'll do you a solid
(10:25:39 AM) David Klotz: $400 plus a dinner, and we'll take out the trash after the wedding
(10:25:58 AM) Aaron Wagner: that's a lot of blow...
(10:26:07 AM) David Klotz: you're forgetting the hookers
(10:26:28 AM) Aaron Wagner: oh, well, How about $500 and the number to an agency
(10:27:16 AM) David Klotz: deal